AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
