In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
