At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize