Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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