its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
