So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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