Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
