Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize