Buhtt sex?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize