I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
