I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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