I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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