I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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