I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
