There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
