somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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