Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
