Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
