So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
