u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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