His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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