What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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