Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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