he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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