That's when you crack a 10am beer
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
the raccoons are back...
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