Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
