I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
