I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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