So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
