it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
