Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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