Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A+ Viking dick
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
