thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
