This is not my ceiling
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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