Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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