every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
