that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
