A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
