i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize