you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
