Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
