You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
