Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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