he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
