She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
