Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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