what day is it and did you see me today?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
