there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
