Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
