Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
