im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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