so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
