I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
