Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
