He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
