If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
