I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
