party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
