you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
