tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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