you would pick up someone in the library
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
