i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
