i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
