She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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