a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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