Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
