And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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