ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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