Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize