Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
